


I guess I'm not meant to be a Paladin, either

by mywishisfordeath



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: HEAVY LANGST, I cried while writing this because I relate to him, I made my boy suffer, Langst, M/M, Other, and some klangst, pining lance, sorry if this sucks, sorry lancey Lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 11:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11805471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywishisfordeath/pseuds/mywishisfordeath
Summary: Lance feels like he isn't enough, and starts to seriously question if he is even worth anything to the team. He doesn't know if he can do it for much more...This is not like every other langst fanfic...(Sorry if this sucks this is my first fanfic and I'm doing this on my phone)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hang on kids it's gonna be a wild ride

He was never enough.

He was never going to be good enough.

Why was he even trying anymore.

They didn't care.

No one cared.

Not Shiro, the loyal leader.

Not Pidge, the hacker supreme and local sarcastic.

Not even Hunk, the cook and best friend.

And not Keith, the one that was always on top.

The right hand man.

The one the others turned to when Shiro was gone.

Why would he care?

He only cared about defeating the Galra, nothing more, except for maybe Shiro.

He wouldn't ever care.

Why should he?

He had so much more to look for.

The team had been looking down on Lance for a while.

Shutting him down.

Ignoring him.

Laughing at him.

Calling him annoying.

Telling him to stop flirting.

And Lance had had enough of it, damnit.

It wasn't worth it anymore.

Maybe it was time to do what he wanted to do so long ago.

They wouldn't even miss him.


	2. Do I continue?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Galra attack, and Lance makes a small mistake which changes into a huge error. It all spirals downhill from there.

Sirens blaring, lasers firing. 

Theyre here again; they could never catch a break, could they?

The paladins rush to their lions, one going slower than the rest, groggy from lack of sleep.

He gets yelled at to hurry up, and stop being so lazy like always. 

He grits his teeth and goes faster. 

 

The battle blazes on. 

Both sides are tired from the many-hour battle. 

One blue paladin in particular is struggling above everyone else.

He then makes a small mistake.

He shoots an ice beam at the nearest enemy ship, sending it careening off into the green lion and her paladin. 

Before the blue paladin can call out a warning, the ship hits the green lion. She is severely damaged. 

The yellow paladin rushes to the green lion's aid, arriving in time to stop a laser beam from causing further damage to Green. 

The battle ends quickly after Green is revived. The paladins and their lions form Voltron, and it's over. 

Far from it. 

Once the paladins get back to the hangars, the blue paladin is jumped upon and reprimand after reprimand is getting thrown upon him. 

Do they ever stop?

The scolding isn't coming just from the leader. 

It's coming from the best friend. 

It's coming from the princess. 

It's coming from the space uncle. 

It's coming from the hacker supreme, who ended up being uninjured. 

It's coming from the best friend. 

And worst of all, it's coming from the "rival".

The one Lance never wants to hurt. 

Never wants to push away. 

Never wants to be rid of. 

Never wants to leave. 

 

Tears. 

Bitter, salty. 

They won't stop. 

Like the rest of the paladins when they fail to realize the blue paladin is no longer trying to defend himself, or trying to talk. 

Or even trying at all. 

 

When it all stops, the blue paladin goes to his room alone. 

He sees the object that will be his undoing, his departure from this life. 

He cant do it anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for hurting my son again :(
> 
> Leave feedback so I can know what to improve on!


	3. I will go on no longer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance gives in...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mentioned blood and suicide. Please skip ahead to end notes if this topic upsets you.

 

Sirens, alarms. All going off.

Attackers. Again.

The paladins rush to their lions, all except one.

They plan to form Voltron, but one is missing.

The other paladins call to the blue one, yelling at him to get it into gear.

He does not arrive.

The battle is over.

They have won.

Without their sharpshooter.

They go to confront him in Blue's hangar when they hear the blue lion roar.

But when they arrive...

Blue's particle barrier is up.

She is not letting anyone in.

Something is wrong.

 

He smiles weakly as the life pours from his veins.

Blood running down his hands and looking into his palms.

He thinks of all of the memories he has.

His big familia on Earth.

Meeting Blue.

Bonding with the team.

Gettig pushed out.

Being told to shut up.

Being left out from the group.

Being ignored and forgotten completely.

He shakes his head.

No, they will not need him.

They never needed him.

He hears Blue in the back of his mind.

Begging him to change his mind.

Pleading with him, saying it will get better.

She wants to help.

But he will not let her.

This is his battle, and by giving up, he has won.

Sirens, alarms. All going off.

Attackers. Again.

He will not be joining them.

 

The paladins, princess, and space uncle rush to Lance's room.

They are too late.

He is lying in a puddle of blood.

His own blood.

Keith's knife is in his bloodied grasp.

The paladins call his name.

He does not answer.

He will never answer again.

 

~timeskip to a few months later~

 

Blue still will not open up.

She blames the living paladins for taking her son away.

She hates them.

She will never open up to another pilot again.

They will never be able to form Voltron.

 

The princess tries to get Blue to open up.

It will not work.

The princess has lost another friend.

She realizes that he never knew she thought he was a friend.

She hates herself.

 

The space uncle misses his "nephew".

His favorite paladin.

He will never hear his boy's laughter in the halls again.

 

The leader regrets what he has done, what he has said.

He will no longer look in mirrors.

 

The hacker supreme doesn't leave her room.

She locks herself away with her tech.

She has not come out of her room in 3 months.

 

The best friend has cried himself to sleep for 5 months straight.

His will to fly his lion is almost nonexistent.

He misses his best friend.

If only he knew that.

 

Washing the blood away from the knife was the easy part.

Seeing the bloodied hand grasping it is not.

Keith will never be able to look at his knife the same way again.

He wishes the blue paladin had known he had loved him.

Instead, the "rival" continued to fight against Lance.

He did this to him.

The red paladin is slowing losing his will to live.

 

Princess.

Space uncle.

Black.

Yellow.

Green.

Red.

And no longer Blue.

 

Never again.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand that concludes my first fanfic "I guess I'm not meant to be a Paladin, either".  
> I made my baby boy suffer sorry. I relate to Lance so much it actually physically pains me.  
> Sorry that this sucks but please leave feedback so I can know what to work on for my next fanfic! (whenever that may be)  
> Also leave requests for future fanfics because I need ideas lol.   
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I hate my life


End file.
